hey to e netballers..
really sorry i let u guys down..
i really hate myself..

maybe i shd've just stayed at home today..
even skippin skl and sayin i was sick might
just have kept me from gettin benched..
mrs mah.. just one complain from her
got us benched..

maybe it was kinda unfair to calli..
she wasn't even warned.

as for me, they promised to give me a few weeks
notice.. but they didn't keep their word..
no surprise. just reppeatin history the second time.

how cld i finish 7 assignments in like 2 weeks
when i don't even understand a thing..
mrs mah said i choose netball over maths.
coz like netball is the only thing i cld excel in..
fatal mistake. kinda feelin really down now.

death bestowed me.

anyway. thankfully we won e semis.
pet played gs.. guess she'll most probably be takin
over me permernantly.. feel like givin up
and breakin down.

sorry for makin u cry vana! seriously didn't mean it..
sorry sai.

mr tang didn't even say any thing abt me..
i studied for my test today la.. i know i can pass..
i was thinkin maybe today i'd make a change in my attitude..
maybe i just shd've stayed at home.
and went down for e game ltr on..

maybe at most, all i'd have gotten was a tick on my
pink slip.. and not get to play for my finals..

tt's all.. but now. most probably i'd be gettin hell
from coach.. maybe even get kicked out of e team..

ms shanti say i looked angry.
no am i like supposed to be happy??!
and i looked angry with the teachers..
um.. honestly, yes i am angry with the teachers
wad is this??? bench me on the semis??
it's all too sudden.. she says i think that it's something
personal.. yes i do think IT IS personal.
maybe u ppl just hate my attitude? i don't know..

calli said mrs mah didn't even want to look into our eyes..
well. she shd feel tt way. guilt. i owe her an apology?
don't think so..

i don't know if this is a good thing..
coz i have this great urge to rebel..
and feel like givin up..
not givin a fuck abt anythin..
but like netball is the one thing i enjoy
comin to skl for.. and now, they've just taken
that one thing. my life is pointless now.

anyway tks for bein there ppl..

adventure camp tmr..
whatever.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005